Top Gear, 800 miles

The TopGear boys show us how to drive 800 miles on a single tank of gas

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Hilarious "Pulp Fiction" Parody Circling the Net!

This short, titled "Dick Fiction", puts Dick Cheney in the Vincent Vega role as he shoots Harry Whittington in the face. It's awesome. Other Republicans fill out the cast.

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Ever get that feeling that you just want to party?

There will also be a Clerks screening across the street from the QuickStop on August 8th. At which point Kevin Smith will also be there doing Q&A after the movie. I will be attending both. There is a god.

Dog Days of Summer

Its a bit after 10:00pm here on the east coast in Jersey to be exact. I'm sitting here playing PokerStars.net and pretty much summer has come to a screeching hault. As with all things that loose their appeal, my assortment of VideoGames have become dull and stale. Nothing really keeps me occupied. I went to Barnes & Nobels today to pick up my Senior Self Help Book for Summer Reading. "How to think like Leonardo Da Vinci." I've read about 50 pages, so far, the book is really good. It takes a very light hearted tone to the entire thing but its very nice since I myself am a fan of Art History and a fan of all great minds, Da Vinci being high up there on the list next to Newton and Socrates.

In normal world of life there is really nothing to report. I've been regarded to sitting in front of my computer or lounging around the house reading. I also picked up my first copy of Ultimates Volume 1. It's intresting. Granted the artwork is what really catches my fancy more than the plot and story line but hey, its Captain America and Iron Man (Iron Man looks freaking awesome by the way).

A big hobby of mine during school is to observe people. I consider High School to be an advanced psycho trip through all of human emotion. Since I love to observe people I've got it down to a point where I talk constantly and though im talking, my eyes and my brain are doing other things, picking up every little nuiansnce of the person im speaking too. Its a fun little hobby. Summer doesnt really allow for nearly the amount of human interaction. Normally and I do stand by that I really dislike most humans, but that doesnt mean their not intresting. My friends are the ones I really adore though. All of them. And in a complete hetero way heh. What I mean by it is that they are really intresting in their own rights but more over, they have their own minds, they have their own ideas and conclusions which is really a heart warming thing to know. Perhaps i'm biased towards all the others in the world who I automatically disregard and they do have minds. Eh. This thought process only leads to being let down as ive noticed it happens every summer. I start to yearn for that human interaction, and then school comes around and I realize all my hopes for the race are fleeting. Sad day to live in the 21st century with all the technology in the world and a complete block of history to study from and yet the human race doesn't care. They just want their electronics to work, don't care how they work. Human curiosity is gone in favor of efficency and immideate satisfaction.

Dog Days of Summer, Dog Days of Life. Life goes on with you or without. One must pick. I feel as if I have to do something and get on the train and rejoin my fellow humans on the planet and leave this internal monologe state of none stop introspective thought. Dog Days of summer indeed. They make you go crazy in thought and leave only questions. Then again, how can one advance if questions are not brought up?

Whose Side Are You On?

Recently ive becomed more and more into the Comic Book scene, don't ask me why. I am going to head over to Comic Fortress down in Sommerville, check it out. Reason being is that ive never been a full blown comic book guy. I dont even own a single comic book. Ive looked into it, they are pretty cheap at $2.99 each. Big suprise for me. Since ive never owned one, im pretty knowledgeable about it, another fun quirky fact.

Marvel has been selling this Civil War event. It seems really intresting. Split down the middle all of Marvel's heroes have to choose between having their secret identities revealed and register themselves as weapons of mass destruction thus endangering the ones they love. The other option is becoming renegades. Iron Man heads up the pro-registration and one of my all time favorite heroes, Captain America heads up the anti-registration. This really in a nut shell is big government breathing down the throats of the citizens. America stands against these ideas. It stands for individuality and for freedom. I side with Captain America. Who do you side with?

There's only one return. Okay? And it ain't of the King, it's of the Clerks.

Clerks II.



It's finally here. Clerks. Again. The second coming. I admire Kevin Smith. On the top of people id would like to hang with, Kevin Smith marks up there, he in using his vernacular, is one cool cat. And how has he grown? Back when Clerks released, he was a kid with some dough that he got from credit cards. Fantastic idea! Not really. But it paid off for the man, big time. Gave him his career. Then he went to MallRats. Not really much of a step up from Clerks. I'll be honest, Clerks is not that great of a movie, Clerks II however is. Clerks was as he puts it himself, a bunch of dick and fart jokes. The movie in of itself is much better in small doses, ala "Which did you like better, Jedi or Empire?" After MallRats, Kevin Smith hit a touching note and retained his inner geek with Chasing Amy. And Lando has never been the same, not for me at least. From there he moved on to Dogma. Another fine movie. Though I'm not as keen to it, I'm not Catholic, I'm not religious, though some of its ideas were general ideas brought very well, and fuck, there's a rubber poop monster in it. Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back! In all honesty, drop in quality. Vowing not to return to the Askew universe he had Jersey Girl. It was his first real movie. It fit the mold, there was nothing extremly profound from it. Well, maybe George Carlin's performance at the very end with the touching lines of "I just dont wanna die alone." that's where I define my view of Kevin Smith. He retained his geek and really gave those touching points. Clerks II his is latest and I will say Greatest achievement.

Clerks II picks up ten years after the original. Dante and Randal have moved to their new delightful counter digs at Mooby's. A fictional fast food burger joint akin to McDonalds and BurgerKing. Does it change their outlook on life at all? Not really. And we love them for it. Dante has moved on with his life, his last day in Jersey is shown to the audience and the exploits that follow it. Choosing to marry an "up-town" girl and getting the hell out of Jersey is what he thinks is expected of him. Becky (Rosario Dawson) is his manager at Mooby's and she doesn't fully accept his leaving. If you catch my drift. Randal, Dante's long life Hetero Life Partner is also not as happy as one would be with Dante's soon departure. The movie has everything one would expect from a Clerks sequel. Dialogue, dialogue, dialogue! For me, I think it should be the core of every movie, along with plot. Normally, Kevin Smith films either have plot and not much heavy side bursting laughter dialogue, or side bursting dialogue and no plot. Pick! Clerks II, not the case. There is enough plot to keep most (I say most because Joel Siegel could not stand it) in the theater. The plot of the movie is most touching towards the end. It is a very nice film. How about comedy? Does it make you hurt from laughing or is it cheap joke after cheap joke?

When talking Kevin Smith and jokes, he will take the easy joke and use it. This was evident in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. Many easy jokes, just not funny. Clerks II does have easy jokes, but there laid out fully, all cards on the table about them and nothing ceases to let the audience even breathe. Some jokes were insider Transformers references, some jokes were just plain racial, some jokes invovle inter-racial erotica. Every single joke however hits its mark. None will ever let you down, all will keep you up. Often you cannot hear the follow up to a joke because of your own laughter, the laughter of the audience and the characters pace of never stopping. This movie goes everywhere! I went with a broad range of people, some of whom aren't really all into some of the jokes that Kevin Smith would and does make, however afterward, she enjoyed the film because it had a touching plot and that the jokes were innately funny, how disturbing they were however. On the other end of the spectrum, those of us who know Kevin Smith and his capability of making an audience laugh, (see An Evening with Kevin Smith) Clerks II did not have as much as I was expecting. I really expected joke after joke after joke after joke riddled throughout the movie like the original Clerks. For those who didn't see the original Clerks, I would assume that Clerks II was so fast paced in comedic timing that any more would be too much, those of us who want it and expect it got what we came for but still felt like a little more could of been pumped out.

I mentioned plot, which the movie does have, and it's kinda interlaced into the movie. There are parts where the plot drags on and there are no gags, though those parts end with a gag as expected. All in all however, in today's market, a movie without plot will flop, see Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. A movie with plot will go far and for a comedy its a must. Last year saw Wedding Crashers and 40 Year Old Virgin. Both had great gags and jokes but both also had there share of plot and even some dancing! Come to think of it, 40 Year Old Virgin had "The Age of Aquarius" and Wedding Crashers had "Jump and Shout!" Kevin Smith's Clerks II has "ABC easy as 123" by the Jackson Five. Hot damn! Dancing is funny! That little side track aside, the movie has a lot of plot which was needed. It really showed the maturation of Smith and his ability to develop a script and an idea and portray the idea to a degree that in a movie with blatant, really blatant, beastiality, to also have touching feelings and sentiment. The end of the movie, one cannot but feel a sense of satisfaction, a sense of happiness for the characters because it is sweet.

Clerks II hits all eight cylinders, one will not be disappointed. Granted the jokes are with out a doubt going to be for the late teenagers and up on to adults but the movie is a good one. Laden with enough plot and enough jokes to make it a very satisfactory film. Those who follow Kevin Smith's work would all agree, Smith has become a great film maker, and his latest Clerks II really marks the best he's ever done. My next mission in my quest of Smith, is to go to Red Bank New Jersey. I am going to go to the Secret stash and pick up a copy of An Evening with Kevin Smith, and by the time I head down there, An Evening with Kevin Smith: Evening Harder will be out so I'll pick that up too. Kevin Smith does not disappoint, he's a great film maker and Clerks II is a great film. I'm sure at this point Kevin Smith would say "Okay enough dick sucking, go see my fucking movie! I need money!"

Why do you call it an 18 Speed bike when it only has 9 gears?

So, my Philip K. Dick mode is now out. I read the book before my viewing of A Scanner Darkly. It's a fantastic book with vivid characters, vivid ideas, vivid pothead comedy, vivid drama and a very big feeling of touch at the end. It's a highly good read, I suggest it to anyone out there who enjoys reading. All around the book would appeal to any type of reader.

I don't do book reviews all too well but I can do movie reviews.



A Scanner Darkly the movie has the characters from the novel and there paranoid dialogue. There is some of the best dialogue I've ever seen in a movie in this movie. Its highly good for those of us who like our conversations to be laden with many topics, ideas, and comedic tones to make it light hearted. For some of the better moments in the movie, I give my hat too Woody Harrelson. Though he plays just a supportive character, he is the comedic relief and he plays it to perfection. Though he is using great source material of Ernie Luckman. In the book, the character didn't pop as much, but seeing him come to life and as animated as Woody Harrelson was, it was a joy to watch.

The movie follows Bob Arctor (Keanu Reeves) and his close knit gang of fellow dopers. They all do various sorts of drugs but most noted the new Substance D. Taking place in Southern California, Bob Arctor and friends have pretty much a very quiet life of drugs, alcohol, and conversations about everything and nothing. It would seem nothing happens in Arctors life but he holds a secret that he is not only a fellow doper, but also a undercover cop trying to bust drug dealers and criminals. To keep his identity safe, he uses a suit called a Scramble Suit which transforms what he looks like from over a million different set types and it gives him a very monotone voice. All goes well until the Substance D he's been taking beings to adversely affect him so much that he begins to loose his mind and his bearing of reality. Okay plot put aside.

The movie as you can tell is portrayed in a very unorthodox fashion. Its called Rotoscope. What the film makers did was shoot all of the movie as a regular movie and then go back frame by frame and animate it. Its very interesting and for the most part complements the movie quite well with its doped out characters. My only problem is that it began to be a little much in some spots, not enough in others, and more of a distraction than a advancement. Vehicles move in a very awkward fashion, and objects move around as the camera pans, it makes things feel awkward. When everything is still, it looks great, which is why the stills of the movie look fantastic and really intriguing, but when shown moving it is a different experience. Often when the camera panned, the objects in the movie had to compensate and they didn't have the correct shading, light, or just look that felt right. This however also helped in some scenes by the fact that since all of these characters are always on drugs, it gave the audience that sense of being drugged as things move or don't move in what we normally view them too.

The acting is pretty damned good on all accounts. As mentioned before, Woody Harrelson plays perfect perfection, Robert Downy Jr. also plays perfect, Rory Cochrane plays better perfection then the rest as a paranoid drug user who sees bugs that don't exist. Keanu plays like Keanu, it's hit or miss in scenes. I had no real complaints about Winona Ryder. All in all the characters played very well and they had great source material to work from. Many if not all the scenes are lifted directly out of the book. Some things are shown directly to the audience where as the book left it inferred.

My biggest complaint is how the plot developed. Yes I loved the book. The book also however has extensive inner monologues. Because of this, it was very hard for it to be explained in movie senses. So because of this, the transformation that happens to Bob Arctor isn't as pronounced and isn't as profound as it was in the book. Some things should of been done however those who read the book and watched the movie filled it in, I'm positive and certain from my fellow movie goers, those who didn't read the book had a hard time and I was able to fill in the gaps. That is a flaw and its a disappointing one. I suppose a way of remedy for the movie and yes it is a very difficult problem is of course more of the movie. Clocking in only at one hour and forty minutes.

A Scanner Darkly is a good movie. I liked it. It is a great movie however since its only in limited theaters its not as wide spread. But I agree for it to be in limited theaters, its a very out there movie and shown in a very out there way. I doubt mainstream could take it. That is the most unfortunate part about the whole movie. A Scanner Darkly is a dark comedy and tragedy.

A Scanner Darkly and Clerks II

Since this is a movie I want to see, and it's only in limited theaters, im gonna go to a showing down in Skillman. Its not far at all. If you want to see a cool movie, give me a notice and well get the gang together to go see. SCANNER DARKLY.

Edit: Scanner Darkly List Me, Maggie, Dan- If times stay the same at 4:55pm.


Scanner Darkly I plan to see sometime this week, Clerks II i know for sure i will be at the Mall on friday to see a showing of said movie. I'm gonna try and get another whole movie gang together and go watch it, drop a line, we'll all meet up at the mall and check out Kevin Smith's latest and greatest.


Edit: Clerks II List Me, Maggie, Dan, Div, Fuzz, Matt, Jen, Chris- After 3pm.

Kubrick

http://www.muffinfilms.com/dream.html

2001: A Muffin Odyssey

How to Get Laid at an Anti-Abortion Rally

A great scene from the FX show "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia"

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A Pirate's Life for Me.

Things to come

So a new First Person Shooter released an Open Beta yesterday, it would be titled WarRock. Yeah... I think the game is japanease... not sure. In any event, ill give my open beta preview of it, its a solid enough games, just some hiccups. Other news that made me want to post right now.

For those that watched the World Cup, I bet you saw advertisements for MLS, Major League Soccer... Well its on right now on ESPN2 and its... funny as all hell. Its FC Dallas vs. Chicago. Its... cute.... very very cute.

Adios for now.

Pirates Beware!

Ye been warned...


Yar scurvy dogs, you best be washing my plank and not playing with my tidlybits!

Yes we have another version of our favorite swashbucklers return in there summertime roles of Will Turner, Elizabeth Swann and Captain Jack Sparrow. Does it pick up where the baton left off and keep up the great smashing success of the Disney Franchise of sailing the wide open seas? Does it? I wanted it to.

Ah Jack... I feel your pain. I really do. Running from your success and failure. I understand, its okay. I really do. Its understandable that you don't need some things and that you really do need some old things. Like all addictions of the American public, we need you in moderation. Pirates of the Caribbean : Dead Man's Chest. Strong enough title. When first hearing of the franchise back in 2003 with Curse of the Black Pearl, I groaned at the sound of it, it sounded like well, a very big chirldren's movie. Disney has had made flops in the past. When I saw previews and I saw Mr. Edward Scissor Hands, I had hope. When I saw the film, it became great, the characters were true characters. Our drunken Captain, our noble Hero and his Heroine love interest. In 2003, it was new, it hadn't been seen before in such grandiose, such bravado, that with every Rum reference you burst in laughter. It was indeed great. And the view! Oh my do you want to see the view! Watching your ship, the Pearl, sail the high seas in such a beautiful surrounding, those wide open shots... Those setup shots... Those needed setup shots that were so present in Pearl... But not so present in Dead Man's Chest.

Enjoy it boys and girls, your wide open shot. So very far apart were they. Isn't it beautiful? Yes it is, and its not really part of Dead Man's Chest. A very basic type of film editing and film making which originated back in the 50's was the so called "Setup" landscape shot. It showed where you were, it showed the audience the setting, where everything took place. Now then, this setup can be overshot, but sometimes its needed. Many of the settings that take place in Dead Man's Chest just appear on the screen and it takes away from the bravado and great epic feel that the first one had. Those few shots might seem insignificant but they really do impact the atmosphere the audience has while watching the movie. So my personal feeling during the movie was that the characters were on a studio set and not on a ship at sea, or on an island. Also the very close up of the characters and often cluttered background kept the feeling of the movie to be again very limited in its epic feel. The only locale that did not have that clustered feel was the Church/Wheel sequence which did indeed make the movie feel again like it was part of the Franchise with epic happenings and epic locales and epic tension.

Lets then go to the acting shall we? Savvy? Yes I am Mr. Sparrow. I am Savvy for acting! So how does our swashbuckling heroes fair with acting? Well, they are characters and damn good ones at that, fitting for a novel lets say. But after that, they get stale. Like a potato chip you've had for a very long time and you adore the taste, but after awhile, damn do you long for a grapefruit! Analogies aside, the acting that you felt so profound the first time around is back in all its glory, and un-glory. Meaning is that the characters keep there overly characterized feel so much so that the depth of a real emotional being is lost. Sad I know. Again we have another male dominated film, Keira Knightly you say could be smoking hot, yes she can. But in this movie she seemed well, more schoolboy and less naughty frumpy proper mistress you visit in the night. Get my drift?

With our characters return the humor. Our lovable Rosen Crantz and Guildenstern return! The humor in the movie is again there and sometimes very present in a quick witted dialogue by one of the new stylized characters ("Well then it helps") or in a very epic seen that is so over the top that you have no urge but to laugh. However this is where the buck stops of new humor. It seems the old adage of if it ain't broke, don't fix it, seemed to play in line that many of the jokes are from the original movie just reiterated. The dog with the keys returns, granted in a new setting. This however sometimes doesn't always work as with our human companions acting along. While the first movie kept you entertained with breath taking views, Dead Man's Chest keeps you holding on to the same breath until the next re-used joke where you just roll your one good eye and keep watching the film. The same joke used, again, and multiple, multiple times in the movie. Alas I had my hopes.

Our summertime rump through the islands to the south returns the feelings of humor and swashbuckling. The movie as a movie works but it does not top the epic feel that the Pearl had. By the end of the movie aswell, for those who have seen it, a feeling of standing and yelling at the screen for the in your face "SEE PIRATES 3" advertisement is felt. Maybe even a groan. By the end of the movie, there is a fantastic final sequence with Jack Sparrow spear heading the finally, then the movie slows down for five minutes, and then, the dreaded advertisement. Its quite a thorn in the side. For a PG-13 movie, it fits the billing. It fits the Disney mold. The movie works, it wont win awards. For the more adult and movie lovers who enjoy emotional invovlement in there movies, see something else. For those interested in a tale of swashbuckling only to not be told how it ends, see Dead Man's Chest.

Virtual Reality Super Mario Brothers!

A group of college students have created a custom version of Super Mario Bros. that is played using VR goggles and special controllers.

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Man o' Steel

The tights return in a very surprising fun role of Superman Returns.

In the days of blockbuster movies that seem to be sequel after sequel we have the revival picture. Often we see revivals of old classics, Superman Returns brought a very fresh look at our Heroes catalogue of the new millennium. Superman/Kal-El/Clark Kent (Brandon Routh) joins the very esteemed league of actors who were able to pull off a comic book role, including Toby Maguire, Hugh Jackman, Christian Bale, and so forth. When first looking at Brandon I thought that he is not a SuperMAN, but more a Superkid? Superboy? Something along those lines. Dressed as Clark Kent, he is perfect for the role, however the first time you see him in the tights, you have two feelings come over you at once, "man... He's really young to be Superman" and the other is "woah... Its not Christopher Reeves... But damn does it look like him!" The latter thought you put across yourself much more often when good ol' Kal-El is fronting as his human alter ego Clark Kent.

The man playing opposite Brandon Routh is not Gene Hackman but instead the only other true famous actor in the movie, Kevin Spacey. Now I am a Spacey fan. I think him as Walken or him as Brando is fantastic way to spend time, watching him. My personation of Christopher Walken is really Kevin Spacey doing Christopher Walken. As the evil Lex Luthor, Kevin Spacey does quite well, he made most of the hiccups of your evil villain to be more enjoyable than other people I could think of. Its very hard to play both the hero and the villain in such a cliched role, and Superman is extremely difficult. There were a few times where the dialogue was cliched to a point it took you out of the movie but in all superhero flicks, it will be there. I am not talking about Christian Bale screaming "do i look like the police to you?".... Yes I am. Playing the female sidekick of Lex, Kitty Kowalski (Parker Posey) the actress pulled it off nice enough for her quick antagonizing dialogue back towards to her man Lex. It works out nicely and she fits well into the very male dominated movie, but since the title is SuperMan... It seems fitting. One more thing, one of Lex's cronies is none other than Kal Penn... aka Kumar from Harold and Kumar. He did well in Superman, but it did take away from the feeling that you are watching a Superman Flick and not a pot headed comedy about food... Now I could go for white castle... Damn you large scale advertisement!

Playing Supermans love intrest in the movie, Lois Lane (Kate Bosworth) has seemingly moved on with her Superman free life, and has won a Pulitzer for her article titled Why The World Does'nt Need Superman. Tense indeed when the Man of Steel returns. When initially hearing that she had landed the role of Lois, I was not sure, I only knew of her from Win a Date with Tad Hamilton, she is a Blonde, not a Brunette, though with dyed hair, she makes a fitting enough Lois. Very hard and straight foward, she played the role well however there were a few occasions where the chemistry between Superman and Lois was not as strong as it could of been in the sense that both actors did not fully engage into the dialogue. It felt bland when being delivered. This could be attributed to the "Fantasy World" effect which was so greatly demonstrated by StarWars, the actors take themselves away and literally have to believe that there is a 7 foot wookie walkin around and that the person is not wearing tights, but can jump over buildings, stop bullets, and save crashing airplanes.

The back story is kinda rushed through in that it fits with the new millenniums rush through plot to get to action. Superman Returns from being away for five long years. The retelling of his youth is only shown in a 5 minute sequence as a young Clark Kent runs and jumps through fields near SmallVille. I think that more time should of been devoted to the sequence but alas it was not. Speaking of SmallVille and sets, Smallville does represent the same one that was seen in the original Superman, with the breath taking view and sunset of the distant mountains. Metropolis also has been updated however the city itself feels like a smaller New York City, and though it doesn't have the Burroughs that are represented in SpiderMan, Metropolis seems like a large scale Manhattan, though it is still gritty enough to bring it into the real world. I do not know my true feelings on this NYC-esque town but it works for the movies, the only problem I had was the wide scale shots of the city, I guess its just preference. Spidey is in NYC, Batman is in a gritty city of Gotham (Which is referenced to in Superman) and Superman is in Metropolis, a very large clean city. I suppose Manhattan most greatly represents, just a few uncleanness details kept it being more NYC and less City of Tommorow.

The Man of tommorow and his world of villains and evil doers and of Truth, Justice and the American Way is all present in Superman Returns. In all it was a well done movie with a very large franchise that could of made a box office flop. The movie is everything but however. It wont win any awards granted, but its a fun romp through our child hood dreams and often makes you feel like a child again staring up in awe in the great power and great role model that is Superman. Superman does Return to the American Psyche and in a good way.

Teenage Intellect

Welcome, this is Teenage Intellect.

Hey there guys, its me again, back at the updating of such and such. This is my Blog v.2 as you can tell. Its sleek and sexy and its very nice. Ill be updating again with new stuff and such, things I find interesting.

Things in the future,

Almost Famous DVD Review
World of Warcraft Video game Review
City of Heroes Video game Review
Superman Returns Movie Review
Pirates of the Caribbean 2 Movie Review


Till next time,