Meeting a Legend: The Kevin Smith Journey Pt. 1

My lord. What a day.

Yesterday and today I will be in contact with one of my idols, Kevin Smith. Ill recount yesterday's journey right now and then tommorow ill do today's along with a summary of the journey.

Kevin Smith yesterday was at Jay & Silent Bob's Seceret Stash in Red Bank, New Jersey. He was signing anything and everything. But how long did the man have to sign things for?

We arrivied pretty early at the stash, bought some goodies from the stash at around noon. At this point, the line was roughly 100 people strong. Not bad? Thats what we thought. So instead of hopping on the line early we decided to get some lunch, and walk the streets of Red Bank in search of foodstuffs to eat while on line. By about 2:30 we decide to finally go to the line. The Line. I'll be referring to this Line for a long damn time for the rest of my life. The line at which used to be 100 people was now 2000. Yeah. Thats damn skippy! So we got on the line. And it proceeded to move a good decent amount at first. They were only letting in small groups of people at a time. So roughly every 30 minutes or so, the line would move 20 to 30 feet. Not bad. Here is the catch 22 however. Kevin Smith is an awesome man. Pretty much if you got into the Stash, you could stay in the Stash. For a long damn time. But if you were one of the lucky few who got into the stash early. You could of hung out with the man, and talked. Talked about what you ask? Anything. The man is a brilliant legend.

I'm getting a bit ahead of myself. After the first 30 feet of movement, it was 2:45. Not bad. Then racing through the parking lot we were in comes none other than Kevin Smith in his Ford Explorer dropping out some cigerette ashes. Dude, we saw the man! This makes most of the crowd cheer. At around 3:00 apparently the signing really started. Cool. Heres where things get hazy for me. The line had a bunch of really really really crazy characters. But all of them were good spirited, fun, and sociable. Some, ahem one, was more sociable then the rest which led to be a bit of annoyance but he soon could not prove to have the endurance like the rest of us and we were only forced to deal with him for about an hour or two. We began to meet some of the people in the line. The two guys in front of us, tall dudes, really cool guys. They were nice, kinda kept to themselves. At one point, the surronding business started sending out people with flyers. One girl was handing out a flyer for an up coming show of local bands. I asked "What type of music is it?" She responded with "Oh rock, some punk, more pop then punk, Metal, classic rock and the like." One of the dudes in front of us said "That sounds god awful!" This made the girl slightly angry but was still high spirited and she moved on along the line. At this point I noted "something about being in this line, you can say anything to anyone because you feel like you have this giant community behind you!" His response was "Yeah well.... I figure I'll never see that girl again in my life." I respond with a nod, some understanding. I then blurt out, "Yeah.... thats ussually the mind frame of most rapists..." Too which erupts whole hearty laughter from the dudes friend. These two cool cats eventually made it to the corner of the parking lot, but eventually had to leave for home. Three or Four hours they waited. Mind you we only moved 100 steps in those hours. The Line continues on.

We eventually met the two people in front of the original two cats. A couple from south Jersey. Both really cool people. The guy, extremly laid back, bit of a chain smoker, his girl was short, and very aggressive but eh what can you do, she was not a Kevin Smith fan and was being forced to stay in the line. Ah well. These two cats we hung out with until we finally reached the stash and got our stuff signed. Much of the conversations we had yesterday was with them. Really cool Jersey people.

The group of people behind us were true diehards. They love their pop culture in every sense of the word, listening in to their conversations, they ranged from Comic Books, to Movies, to Comic Books, to actors, to directors, to books, to games, to everything under the sun. They were pretty cool guys.

By 11:00 I had begun to loose hope. It looked like we wouldnt make it in there for ever and ever. During the time that we were in the line, there was a guy dressed in a Silent Bob outfit, and quite convincing of a Silent Bob from far away, though this dude had blue eyes, so alas not the real one. At midnight, or 1:00, there was another cat who lived around there with a Got Christ? shirt. One of them had a stereo. And the proceeded to portray the scene on the opposite side of the street of "Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me! Id fuck me hard!" With dancing and pinching of the nipples. Afterwards they also played "What is Love?" from the SNL Skit with Will Farrel and Chris Kattan and eventually also found some girls to do the classic bump up against. I really got to put out a thanks to those guys, they kept me back in the game.

At around 1:15 maybe 1:30 Kevin smith came out and saw the line. This made the people in the line cheer. At this point there were still roughly 300 to 400 people left in the line. He was kinda in shock. He went over to one of the cop cars, cops had been patrolling the event, and try to send out a message but alas it did not reach many people since it was no where near loud enough. This point however, it became almost cinematic. The people on the line, including myself, gathered into the street around the cop car and created a perfect half circle enveloping the man. It must of seem like some sort of event out of a Zombie movie. Hundreds of people all staring at one man in such a fashion. What apparently he said was that he was really just trying to sign shit, and get people on their way home. This was fine with me. I was happy that at least i would still get to meet the man.

This brought us to our last bunch of characters. As we slowly snaked around the corner and could finally see the stash in our sights, another group of guys, ones who we had never seen before but there they were. Three kids from the City had come out and let me tell you, one of them had a serious problem with talking. He would talk incesently. Yes he was funny at first, but after 12 hours in standing in line, and hearing him talk for over 30 minutes. I gave the fuck up and became mute and rested on a parking meter looking up at the sky. Soon the line moved again and it appeared like we would be the next group in. A gift from god perhaps?

At that point god spoke. During the night, lightning could be seen of in the distance above the buildings with brief flashes. And finally here it came. The rain was heavy and thick. But we had a small little awning from another store to protect us. Though that didnt help the fact that we were then stuck 10 feet from the entrance and not next to the door. Then god gave another gift. A kid, about 15 years old, named Zack, has a really cool mom. He only lived 30 minutes away, and his mom was awesome waiting for him in the car. She had done things all day apparently and just waited outside to bring him home. Great mom. When the rain came, she came out with an umbrella, one for him, and three more for other people. This is truly a gift from god. We hugged next to Zack under neath his little umbrella and we were ushered right next to the door. We stood for about 5 to 10 minutes just waiting. And finally we entered. This brought a flutter to my heart. Since the last time i was in the store was over 14 hours ago. We quickly joined the line in the back to get stuff signed. It was about 7 people long. We spoke to the woman in front of us, very cool chick. She wanted to get something else so she moved out of the line giving us her spot. Then we were 3 people away. At this point, I really got star struck. There he fucking was. It was awesome to say the least. 2:40 in the morning and im meeting an idol. Ive spent all day waiting in line, and here it is. So I first gave him my poster of Silent Bob from Clerks the Animated series and I had him sign it with the silver pen i bought. I shook his hand first off. Then i gave him my poster, he says "okay, turn around, back please." So I turn around and i am fucking brimming with glee. He appeared to be writting alot so I say "Dudes writting an essay." He then says, yeah a short essay. Since I cant see his face while he said this, it was kinda one of those really cool moments where since his character never speaks, but theres his voice in the air. And i know he's right behind me. It's very cool. I gave him my other shirt and while hes signing it, i look over and i say "Dude this is great! I have my back to the man!" To which he replies "Yeah, kinda homosexual isnt it?" "Dude ive dreamt about this!" To which this gets a slight chuckle out of the very tired film maker.

Tommorow is Pt 2. Ill upload pictures of todays event later on tommorows post when I get them.